Is Lent a Season of Self-Improvement?

& a picture of the too-small shoes

It’s hard to believe that the season of, “What are you giving up?” is already here. I haven’t written much about my plans because Christmas lights still decorate many of my neighbor’s yards. On a recent walk stroll, I spotted a real Christmas tree discarded on the curb. How in the world did they get the needles to hang on for so long?

This is not our first rodeo.

Growing up, Lent tended to be an unofficial competition with my brothers and friends. The days leading up to Ash Wednesday were filled with discussions about what we were giving up. Then, we policed each other’s behavior for weeks hoping we would not get “caught” doing the thing we said we were not going to do.

Old habits die hard.

We live in a performance-oriented world. It’s a wonder no one has thought to hand out awards for doing Lent well. Can you imagine if, instead of palm branches on Palm Sunday, you received a Lenten participation certificate suitable for framing? Would more people attend church and strive for “holiness” if trophies were awarded at Easter Mass for “Most Improved”?

Don’t we all want our good behavior to be praised and our missteps overlooked?

It’s taken me a long time to reach the point where the focus of my faith no longer rests on trying not to get caught.

There are no trophies in the spiritual life.

Even without the hope of a trophy, I used to set self-improvement goals like a proverbial girl boss. “New Lent, New Me” could have been my catchphrase. Sadly, most of my self-improvement did not improve anything other than my own opinion of myself.

Turning Lent into a competition had negative consequences.

First, it kept me from being honest with myself (and more importantly God). I was unwilling to say out loud what really needed to change in my life. It’s a lot easier to admit an addiction to Diet Coke rather than acknowledge my gossip habit. Why set a goal you know you aren’t able to achieve?

There’s another downside to approaching Lent in this way. It’s hard to love other people when I’m focused on perfecting myself.

Over the years, my understanding of Lent changed.

So how do I approach Lent if it’s no longer part of a personal improvement plan?

Life is complicated and you’re probably harder on yourself than necessary. Each of us has a finite amount of resources- spiritual, emotional, and temporal. We have weaknesses, habits, and strengths galore. Pondering all the ways you are not measuring up to some fictional ideal is not what Lent is about.

Lent is a season to remember how deeply you are already loved and then share that love with other people.

It’s a time when we can be honest with the One who loves us most.

We can love big in small ways. It does not matter where the love is directed, to God, the weakest part of ourselves, or other people. Love is the catalyst for lasting change. 

You don’t have to look far to see the impacts of division among people and feel an increasing sense of isolation. This is not what God intended.

Rather than seeking to polish our self-image by celebrating our self-control, why not let’s try something different this Lent?

Committing to love.

What if this Lent was a season to press pause on one thing that isolates you from other people?

What if you prayed for the courage to embrace each uncomfortable moment that stretches the borders of your comfort zones?

What if you pondered your own faith journey to discover a new path forward?

This Lent, I’ll be focusing on the spiritual practices of Pausing, Praying, and Pondering. Each week of Lent, I’ll send an email (to paid Subscribers) with practical ideas and inspiration to pause, pray, and ponder so you can love big in small ways right where you are. These emails will be a perfect addition to any observation of Lent.

P.S. I’ve committed to keeping the shoes I mentioned in my last message to you. Here they are on their maiden voyage.