Expanding Our Comfort Zone

Lessons learned in the aisles of Nordstrom Rack

It was wonderful to see many of you in Houston when I spoke at the Theresian International Morning of Prayer. I spoke on the 3 P's of a Dynamic Faith: Pause, Pray, and Ponder. Welcome to our new subscribers that I was able to meet in person! I'll share more about the 3 P's during Lent. Now is a great time to consider upgrading to a paid subscription (click on the button at the bottom of this post). I'm planning on sharing some videos and resources created specifically for paid subscribers later this month.

Photo by Fikri Rasyid on Unsplash

We expand the edges of our comfort zone by stretching. This weekend, I was reminded that discomfort precedes the swaddling embrace of comfort. 

Unicorn hunting.

I've been on the hunt for the perfect pair of neutral flat shoes. Maybe you know that finding cute shoes that fit right out of the box is like finding a unicorn. Now that flat is back in fashion, I have more to choose from. Sadly, the perfect pair has eluded me so far as every shoe I find is the wrong shade, sheen, or shape. 

And then, Hallelujah! 

This weekend, I found a pair that was the exact neutral shade I was hoping to find, a lovely quality of leather, with a cute bow accent near the toe. These flats remind me of the amazing Ferragamo shoes my mother-in-law wore in the 90's. 

After slipping them on my toes, I walked up and down the Nordstrom Rack aisle. Well, it was more like hobbling as I returned to my discarded boots.

"Leather will stretch", I told myself. And into the buggy, they went. Almost perfect was good enough. 

As soon as I got home, I put on my thinnest pair of socks and began the process of stretching them out. Fingers crossed that this stretching works well enough that these shoes can be worn outside the house without pain. Only time will tell. 

Invited to try something new. 

Right before my trip to the Rack, I was at a new friend's house learning to play the ancient game of MahJong. I'm not sure I would have agreed to join this new group if I'd known how rule-heavy the game was. 

Being a beginner is certain to eject you from your comfort zone. Being a beginner at a table with women you don't know adds another layer of complexity to the mix.

Thankfully, everyone was wonderfully open and we had a patient teacher. After a few games, we began to get a sense of the flow of the game. Although it was overwhelming, learning something new with other people challenged me to keep going. 

"Feeling awkward does not mean I am doing the wrong thing",  I thought as I drove away. 

Inside my comfort zone.

Before my MahJong lesson, I had been to Mass. Our church is somewhat unique. Rather than the traditional rows of pews facing the altar, we sit in rows of chairs facing the center aisle. Our pastor sits among the congregants during the Liturgy of the Word (the first part of the Mass) and then invites everyone to stand at the front of the church for the Liturgy of the Eucharist (the second part of the Mass). 

The first time I wandered into St. Peter, I was confused about where to sit and where to kneel. For the first few months, I was unsure about when to do what during the Mass I thought I knew so well. Over time, I grew more comfortable with the flow of the ritual. Now it’s second nature.

Since I've been traveling in December and January, I've been going to Mass in churches with a more traditional layout. Returning to Mass at St. Peter after almost a month on the road was a balm to my soul. 

In the past, I believed that God was content when we did things a certain way— say certain words in a certain order, stand at the right time, and kneel on cue. Now, I’m not so sure that is true.

"Becoming comfortable doing something that made me uncomfortable means my faith has stretched", I thought as I looked around at the people I had come to know over the past 3 years. 

New Shoes. New Friends. Expanding Faith.

Some parts of life are more flexible than others. We are each being challenged to stretch in uncomfortable ways. It can be tempting to believe that a lack of peace, another word for discomfort, is a sign that we’re doing something wrong.  

But I don't think that's accurate. 

Moving over and over again has taught me that starting something new will stretch you beyond what you thought possible. 

With repetition, new things begin to feel natural and comfortable. 

As we grow, our new selves stretch to fit our new lives. 

As our comfort zone expands, we find more opportunities to love. 

Once we find ourselves safely in our comfort zone, it's time to find a new way to stretch. 

You are already stretching right where you are: 

Your arms stretch to hug in moments of joy and sorrow.

Your heart stretches to empathize with someone else's pain. 

Your mind stretches to appreciate another person's point of view.

Your faith stretches beyond what your 6th-grade self believed to be true about God. 

I still have a pair of cowboy boots I bought in college. Every time I pull them on, I remember how it felt to glide across the dance floor at the Broken Spoke, Gruene Hall, or Blancos. Every blister I earned while breaking them in was worth it.

The jury is still out on the cute shoes. Sometimes there is just not enough give in the fabric to make them comfortable. But, you can't always tell if something is going to be comfortable just by looking at it. The only way to find this out is by trying.