The Courage to Listen

Growing up, I heard the phrase, “In like a lion, out like a lamb” used to describe the month of March. It didn’t make much sense to me in Texas where March was merely a prelude to Summer. But here in Ohio, the description rings true. This week alone we have seen snow, hail, rain, sun, and wind.

No one complains much about the weather here, that would be futile. Rather, everyone looks forward to the payoff— Summer and Fall. We look forward to cocktails at sunset and dinner on the deck. We anticipate grabbing our sweaters as the air chills while fireflies dance. We remember the laughter of summers past and look forward to gathering again in the open air.

The weather system of US politics has shifted. People are being disappeared off the streets, the rule of law is being challenged, and the government as we know it is being dismantled. For a former lawyer, this is soul-shifting stuff.

I know that depending upon what media, if any, you pay attention to— you might feel like Summer is finally on the way. Others may feel we have skipped Fall altogether and have quietly slipped into a Narnia-level deep freeze.

To process the shifts I see in our country, I started writing fiction. My main characters are grappling with differences of opinion related to the current US administration as one does during a mid-life crisis. Some characters think the changes are positive, and others disagree. They do their best not to talk about any “hot button” topics when they are together. They want to go along to get along. Does this sound familiar?

What do we do when even the weather becomes a hot-button topic? It might seem unwise to remain friendly with family members who don’t recognize the weather patterns as you see them.

As in real life, something in this fictional story happens to make going along to get along impossible. They encounter a situation that forces them to either build walls to divide or construct bridges of understanding.

While I can’t tell you what is going to happen because I haven’t written it yet, I’ve been thinking about how courageous these characters will need to be in order to listen to each other. I don’t need to tell you how painful it is to have relationships dissolve because of differences of opinion about the state of our communities, states, and country. This division is driven by fear.

So how will my characters respond to their fear? Will they allow it to keep them silent and separated or will they find the courage to sit with their discomfort and reunite?

Honestly, I’m not sure.

I do know that listening is difficult. These characters will not merely need to hear the other person so that they can speak their own piece. Rather, they will need to listen with curiosity so that they can sit still long enough to hold the other’s heart in their hands.

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These are pain and joy-filled days. We don’t know where the road we are traveling leads. This reminds me of a prayer from Thomas Merton.

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My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain
where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,
and that I think I am following your will
does not mean I am actually doing so.

But I believe
the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire
in all I am doing.

I hope
I will never do anything
apart from that desire.
And I know if I do this
you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.

I will trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear,
for you will never leave me
to face my perils alone.

Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude

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